Welcome to The Examine. This is, admittedly, an opinion piece, and opinions will vary on the topic. Please be respectful in the comments.
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This piece contains multiple blockquotes, and though it may be tedious, please read for complete context.
1. The Kicker’s Speech (Buckle Up)
These are the Ages according to man: the Ice Age; the Stone Age; the Bronze Age; the Iron Age; the Historical Age; the Middle Ages; the Dark Ages; the Renaissance; the Age of Enlightenment; the First Industrial Revolution; the Second Industrial Revolution; the Information Age Revolution; the Algorithmic Age. If we haven’t entered the AI Age—the Age of the Machine—we’re on the cusp. And if I were forced to name this present Age, how would I? Perhaps this way: The Age of Opinion.
Last week, a twenty-eight-year-old Athlete with a big leg offered small and controversial opinions on a host of topics in a commencement speech at Benedictine University. By now you know the story, but if you don’t, allow me a recap.1
He opened the speech with a full-throated attack on the President, calling his Catholicism into question. He levied attacks on priests and Bishops—couching his opinions as facts despite any lack of meaningful citation—saying,
“Many priests we are looking to for leadership are the same ones who prioritize their hobbies or even photos with their dogs and matching outfits for the parish directory.”
…
As we saw during the pandemic, too many bishops were not leaders at all. They were motivated by fear, fear of being sued, fear of being removed, fear of being disliked. They showed by their actions, intentional or unintentional, that the sacraments don't actually matter.”
…
That goes even more so for our bishops, these men who are present-day apostles. Our bishops once had adoring crowds of people kissing their rings and taking in their every word, but now relegate themselves to a position of inconsequential existence.”
He attacked the press.
“I am certain the reporters at the AP could not have imagined that their attempt to rebuke and embarrass places and people like those here at Benedictine wouldn't be met with anger, but instead met with excitement and pride. Not the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to glorify him.”
Opinion after opinion was offered as fact, as “hard truths,” and then he turned to the “the ladies.”
“For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”
I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.”
He closed the commencement admonishing the graduates to attend the Latin Mass—the pre-Vatican II form of the mass celebrated for millennia. And though this may seem like a small thing—mass attendance is good, right?—know this: In Catholic circles, this means something, and often what it means is nothing short of right-wing, ideological antagonism.
“Aside from the [the Latin Mass] itself, too many of our sacred traditions have been relegated to things of the past, when in my parish, things such as ember days, days when we fast and pray for vocations and for our priests, are still adhered to. The TLM is so essential that I would challenge each of you to pick a place to move where it is readily available.”
For the sake of intellectual honesty, Harrison Butker’s opinions were not devoid of truth. There are valid criticisms of the President and his exercise of faith. Some clergy have not been faithful to their vocation. The press is often ideologically driven. And who can doubt the lack of fire in some modern churches (both Catholic and Evangelical alike)?
Also, the outrage directed at Butker—the Twitter fire, the doxing, the endless opinion pieces—was vicious, particularly from practicing Catholics. (An irony since Butker cast many of his Catholic opponents as being members of the “Church of Nice.”) I’m not here to pile on.
But allow me an observation: In his speech, Butker asserted answers, and he left very little room for questions. He didn’t encourage a thoughtful, artful, analytical approach to finding what’s true. He offered The Truth According to Harrison Butker, and he hoped the college graduates—graduates who’d spent four years learning how to think—would adopt his What to Think opinions.
I don’t hate Butker. I don’t even blame him. He is, after all, the product of our age—the Age of Opinion. And in this age, we sling ideology, nuance be damned.
2. A Woman’s Worth
In the evening hours, just before the sun dropped behind the eastern mountain, we piled out of the car after celebrating my second son’s high school graduation. The light washed the field as a watercolor, and there was Amber was in her red dress. A college professor once instructed “Always shoot the sunset” and “Always shoot red,” and so, I asked Amber to meet me in the backyard.
I look at Amber, this woman who’s given almost a quarter-decade to me. Sometimes she’s ridden shotgun. Sometimes, she’s been behind the wheel. There have been seasons when she stayed home and raised children. In other seasons, she’s put her nose to the grindstone. She’s pursued her vocation as a writer—her latest offering is The Deep Down Things—and now, she’s in her Real Estate Age. She’s been the greatest supporter of my career, but she doesn’t exist to support my career. She’s not a bit character in the Seth Haines Show. She is the leading lady in The Story of Us.
In The Story of Us, Amber and I have lived through our Age of Evangelicalism. We’ve lived through our Age of Church Grief (you can read more about that in The Deep Down Things). We’re now in our Catholic Age, an age that’s marked by liturgy, the Real Presence of the Eucharist, and the quiet pursuit of wrestling down questions about life, faith, and the meaning of Christ’s presence in the world. And who knows, given the right set of circumstances, maybe we’ll enter our own Latin Mass Age. (It is a beautiful mass, though with its rigid infusion of faith and politics, it’s hard to imagine such a thing.)
There have been seasons upon seasons, but it hasn’t changed the fact that (a) we’re a team, (b) she is a woman who knows what she’s about, and (c) she’s beautiful in the evening light.
Amber has never fit into tidy boxes. She’s resisted the reductionisms pushed by both sides of the ideological divide. She knows that the winds of the Spirit blow. Sometimes those winds have filled her sails, pushed her to homemaking. Sometimes, they’ve pushed her out into the world. She’s always pursued a nuanced view of what it means to be a woman and more than that, what it means to be human.
Butker’s reductionisms lacked that oft-overused word—nuance. There are divorced women and women whose husbands are disabled or deadbeat. There are widowed women. Could they pursue an exclusive calling to Homemaking?
But also—and perhaps more importantly—there are women who’ve been gifted with such fine minds, and the Spirit calls them to use those minds in service to the world. They are your doctors, lawyers, local businesswomen. They serve your children as teachers. They write amazing books, and produce fantastic works of art. And these vocational women have been celebrated throughout the Scriptures. Consider Judith and Priscilla. Consider Proverbs 31:
A capable wife who can find?
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
The Age of Opinion is a dry age, and the truth is, I don’t care much for it. In fact, I don’t care much for the internet these days, and I care less about the opinions of celebrities and Super Bowl kickers.
What I care about: Carving out a decent life with the woman I love, and trusting her to follow the Spirit’s winds. That ought to be enough. And it is.
Thanks for reading, if you like this piece, you might also enjoy The Deep Down Things: Practices for Growing Hope in Times of Despair.
The transcript of Harrison Butker’s speech: “Full Text: Harrison Butker of Kansas City Chiefs Graduation Speech.”
The majority of my medical students are women. The majority of my colleagues in the hospital are women. I’m grateful for this. In fact, there wouldn’t be hospitals without them. If Harrison were hospitalized and all the women left to work in the home during his admission, well, he’d be in deep sh*t.
We all discern our vocation in accordance with the gifts we have been given. For some, that means being a homemaker; for others, it may mean being a doctor, nurse, teacher, or something else. And many of us wear multiple hats throughout life, like your wife. Nuance is the word.
What thoughtful words. I really appreciate your unpacking of his speech and the lack of nuance. It is tough times for those of us in the moderate middle. The age of opinion is giving me scowl wrinkles for sure!